Current Music Favorites -- January 2020

Lots of rocked up and metal-ed up bluesy songs, for January.

The Pretty Reckless – Heaven Knows
This is one of those songs I got into -- again.  Rock anthem-like, and bluesy at the same time.

Fantastic Negrito – An Honest Man
I got this song after seeing the 1st season of the series "Hand of God" with Ron Pearlman. It's another song that I got into -- again.  I really want to get more of his music in the future

In This Moment – Oh Lord
The very first time I heard this song, after buying the album (Ritual), I was in love with it!  I just love bluesy music mixed with metal.

ZZ Top – Tush
A classic!  This song has energy and love the riffs.

Greta Van Fleet – Mountain of The Sun
I just love Greta Van Fleet!  You can tell they love Led Zeppelin.  That was the draw of this band for me.  It's like Led Zeppelin continued where they left off.

Black Veil Brides – Resurrect The Sun
I woke up to this song, one morning, via my phone alarm that connects to Pandora.  I remembered how much I loved the song!  I pretty much love that Wretched And Divine album.

In This Moment – Call Me
How can I not love a rocked up version of Blondie's Call Me?!

My Chemical Romance -- Mama
Even though Mama is not about going to whiskey bars, this song reminds me of Alabama by The Doors -- except it's in manic overdrive.

Ta-Ta-For-Now!

Luna enjoying the sunshine.

When Will We Teach Our Daughters To Be Sexual Equals? -- Pt.2 Perfect Woman "Syndrome"

Again:

Before one dismisses this series of essays as being a "man-bashing" essay, without reading it, I think shifting the way we teach girls about sex and relationships will improve relationships for both men and women.

And, before one says -- "But, but, there are sexual predators out there!"  I am WELL aware that there are sexual predators.  Unfortunately, there will always be a contingent of the population that are sexual predators.  I do not advocate for one second that a girl or woman let her guard down or ignore her intuition or take her safety lightly.

And, before you argue with me about what your religion or church says about women and sex, please know that I am NOT religious and am not about to take up a religion.  One of the big reasons I am not religious is the way women are regarded in religions.

If the last two years have taught us anything, it’s that Hollywood is still a sexist entity.  We may see strong female role models in movies; but, at the same time, we still see the same old stories with the same sexist story lines being recycled over and over again.  Why?  Because people pay to see them.  The common denominator is money.  It always is.

One theme that seems to come up over and over in movies and television is this:  The perfect woman can turn a bad man into a good one.  Gee, that’s not a crappy message, at all, to send to women and girls is it?!

The notion of “The Perfect Woman” isn’t limited to movies and TV shows. Companies thrive by buying advertising time on television that tells women that they need to be perfect.  According to many commercials, women need to:

• Have the perfect career
• Be the perfect mate
• Throw the perfect gathering
• Raise the perfect children
• Be the perfect housekeeper
• Have the perfect body
• Have the perfect hair
• Wear the perfect clothes

 Contrast the message women get from commercials with the message men get from commercials.  The perfect man is:

• A party animal.
• Can imbibe large amounts of alcohol
• A womanizer (better a woman on each arm, than one.)
• Is interesting
• Makes a lot of money
• Throws a good barbeque

Hmmmm.  No wonder women are from Venus and men are from Mars!  We teach them to be this different from one another.

Here are two movies, (one is a Rom-Com and one is a Disney Princess movie) that foster the message that it takes the perfect woman to turn a man into great husband material. If you haven’t seen Failure To Launch or The Princess And The Frog, and want to, there are going to be SPOILER ALERTS.

Failure to Launch:

Per IMDB:  A thirty-something is still living with his parents until they hire an interventionist to help him graduate out of the house. That's when the fun begins.

That’s innocent enough.  But, here’s the real premise.  Paula (Sarah Jessica Parker) is the interventionist.  How does she intervene?  She poses as the “perfect woman”, she's attractive, great at conversation, she loves sports, plays sports, loves his friends etc. etc. etc.  Paula, at one point is found out by one of Tripp’s (Matthew McConaughey) friends, who then tells Tripp.  She’s deeply sorry, and professes that she really has feelings for him.  And surprise, surprise she’s no different in real life than she is pretending to be his girlfriend.  So, they live happily ever after.

With the exception of “the interventionist”, this theme is hardly new in Hollywood.  From the time we are children, there are a ton of movies and TV shows out there with the same theme: “Perfect Woman” turns very imperfect man into the perfect gentleman – and eventually into the perfect husband.

The Princess And The Frog:

Per IMDB: A waitress, desperate to fulfill her dreams as a restaurant owner, is set on a journey to turn a frog prince back into a human being, but she has to face the same problem after she kisses him.

He’s not a classic Disney prince.  Prince Naveen’s blue-blooded family is out of money, so he is actually supposed to marry Tiana’s best friend, Charlotte (whose daddy has a ton of money) – or else he has to “get a job”.  Prince Naveen is a womanizer, a gambler, a playboy and does not believe in the value of work.

Because she’s not a real princess, Tiana gets turned into a frog, as well, after kissing Prince Naveen in frog form to try to break the spell.   Together, they are forced to search for a cure to their “frogginess”.  During this time, Prince Naveen sees the error of his ways, they fall in love, marry, she opens her restaurant, he works with her.  They live happily ever after.  – The perfect woman turns a womanizer, gambler and playboy into perfect marriage material.

Is this how we want to continue to raise our daughters? – That if they are perfect enough they can turn any man into the perfect man?

So, if a man ends up being a philanderer, a gambler, a drug addict, an abuser, a dead-beat dad etc. etc. etc.  He just doesn’t have the perfect enough woman to cure him? If a man treats a woman badly, she’s just not perfect enough for him to treat her well?  Is that a bunch of mentally-abusive, sexist bull-shit or what?

If Joe Average treats Jane Average poorly, he’s not going to be turned into the perfect gentleman by dating or marrying the latest Hollywood It-Girl or the latest supermodel.  It just doesn’t work that way.  The truth is, men, like women, are responsible for their behavior.  Past behavior usually (not always) determines future behavior.  No amount of perfection from the opposite sex is going to change someone for the better unless they, themselves, want to change for the better and work towards it. 

I’m not advocating that we shield our daughters from Disney Princess movies or Rom-Coms.  I’m advocating that we have a dialogue with our daughters when we see the media leading them astray from healthy notions of relationships.  Let them know that movies and television shows are not realistic. (Don’t just assume that they realize that.)

People don’t just live happily ever after despite a tower of odds against them.  Love does  not conquer all. We should be having a dialogue with our daughters about not losing the beautiful person that they are in order to keep a man.  If she has to change who she is to keep a man, he is not worth keeping.  The things that bring her joy in life are just as important as the things that bring him joy in life.  

How much more is he going to ask her to give up in the future once she starts giving up parts of herself? No relationship should be based on the foundation of  “I need to change you in order to be happy".  If she needs to change him in order to be happy – she needs to look for someone else that already has those qualities instead of beating her head against a wall, wondering why “she’s not good enough to change him”.

Having a dialogue with both our sons and daughters about liberating them from unrealistic relationship expectations and the sexism that runs rampant in the media can help them both live on Earth rather than Venus and Mars.

Ta-Ta-For-Now!

Luna sitting on the egg carton --probably so she doesn't have to sit on the cold counter.

December 2019 Favorites - Beauty And Bath

Some new favorites, some old favorites and some repurchased favorites.

Enjoy my end of the year picks!

1.   Jeffree Star Cosmetics Velour Liquid Lipstick in Designer Blood:
Jeffree Star Cosmetics describes Designer Blood as a "dark rusty red".  This color is very flattering on me and looks so dramatic, (in a good way), with my red shadow look.

2.   e.l.f  Modern Metals Liquid Matte Lipstick:.
This lipstick is from the Modern Metals collection.  I saw it on YouTuber Zabrena's channel.  It confused me, at first. The name Modern Metals suggests that the lipstick should be metallic -- but, it did not look at all metallic on Zabrena.  It's a gorgeous non-metallic matte burnt orange color.  The formula is pretty good too!

3.   Black Moon Cosmetics Liquid Lipstick in Sanguis:
I've always had at least one tube of this on hand since not long after Black Moon Cosmetics launched (when all they had were a few lipsticks). It's a beautiful bright cherry red.  I also love the flat-ish applicator., I feel like it helps with more precise application.

4.   Black Moon Cosmetics Liquid Lipstick in Deville:
When this color launched almost a year ago, I HAD to have it.  I just love metallic red lipsticks!!!

5.   Lip Liners -- Mostly Nyx:. 
While liquid lipsticks offer the convenience of not really needing a lip liner, I'm finding that I prefer to use a lip liner to get really precise definition on my upper lip.  I originally bought a bunch of lip liners to go with my KVD Studded Kiss Lipsticks but find myself loving to use lip liners for most lip colors, now.

6.   Lime Crime Venus Palette in Vivid:

This was somewhat of a collection purchase.  However, I do love the colors!  It reminds me a little of the Urban Decay Electric palette (above left)  that was around years ago, except in a more edited version.  The Electric Palette had 10 colors and the Vivid palette has eight colors.  What you don't get in the Vivid palette that was in the Electric palette is a silver, shimmery teal (I'm not someone who loves teal shadow), royal blue and shimmery medium green.  The purple in the Vivid palette (Flutter) seems like both purples in the Electric palette mixed together.  The shimmery green in the Electric Palette is a slightly lighter matte green/chartreuse in the Vivid Palette (Limelight).  The shimmery yellow green in the Electric palette is a yellow with a slight hint of green called Happy Place.  Two colors you get in the Vivid palette that are not in the Electric palette are Lux, which is a yellow-gold.  Personally, I prefer this to silver, which can look harsh on most skin. Then, there is Super Bloom, a shimmery bright orange.  This palette is gorgeous.  To make it more wearable for myself, I mix Starburst (the bright red-orange) with a warm brown eyeshadow -- which is what I do with the Electric palette as well,

7.   Juvia's Place Eyeshadow Palette in The Saharan II:
I've had this palette since late 2017.  It's taken me a while to realize that I really LOVE this palette.  I, of course, love red shadows.  But, I've just started getting enamored with mixing my reds, oranges and warm browns with blues -- especially shimmery blues.  The neutral shimmery light beige in the middle of the top row can also double as a highlighter for fair to medium skin.

8.   Kat Von D Eyeshadow Palette in Shade and Light:
I, personally, think that the matte Shade and Light palette is one of the greatest neutral palettes created.  Not only does it have three sections (cool, neutral and warm); but, the large pans on top can also be used as a matte highlighter, contour and blush (provided your skin is fair to light-medium).  Also you don't have to stick to one section when applying it.  This palette is great for creating a bold rocker-chick smokey eye with that black shadow as a base.

9.   Chanel Les Exclusifs 31 Rue Cambon:
I've had my bottle of 31 Rue Cambon for, at least, five years now.  I'd say, out of all the Les Exclusive fragrances I have, 31 is my favorite.   31 Rue Cambon is comprised, in part, of bergamot, black pepper, patchouli, cistus labdanum and iris. At first whiff, there is a deceptive old fashionedness to 31.  What comes next is the sophistication of this chypre fragrance which also juxtaposes itself with with imagery of a fragrant  mystical moss filled forest.  I wear this in cooler weather and it gets stowed away during the warmer months.

10.  Atelier Cologne Oolong Infiny:
I got this during the Black Friday/Cyber Monday sales.  If I bought a larger bottle of any fragrance, I could get any 1 oz bottle, which retails for $78 with a personalized engraved leather case.  I got Oolong Infiny as my free bottle.  I kind of wish I got this as a larger bottle.  It's a beautiful, light multi-dimentional fragrance.  Atelier cologne classifies Oolong Infiny as a "Clean Musk". Its main notes are an Oolong Tea Accord, bergamot and Gaiac wood.  Like most Atelier Cologne fragrances, Oolong Infiny is considered a unisex fragrance.  When I put this on, I get a hint of floral and a very subtle hint of bitterness which gives it its "clean" impression.  This can be worn day or night and even in warmer weather.

11.  Becca Pressed Shimmering Skin Perfector in Golden Mint:
I absolutely LOVE Becca's pressed highlighters!  They're not crazy shimmery and they're not too subtle. There is never any glitter in the highlighters. (Why do companies put glitter in highlighters?) I feel like Becca is the benchmark for highlighters.  Golden Mint was a limited edition color.  It has an ever so subtle green tint to it that comes off more golden.  I find this to be very flattering with red shadow.

12.  Becca Pressed Shimmering Skin Perfector in Vanilla Quartz:
I got Vanilla Quartz at the same time that I got Golden Mint. It was also a limited edition release. I really LOVE this color.  It gives a bit more of a pop on me than Moonstone (which I also love).

13.  Becca Pressed Shimmering Skin Perfector in Prismatic Amethyst:
I've had Prismatic Amethyst for a few years.  It was originally a limited edition release; but, has since become a permanent item.  Prismatic Amethyst is perfect for pairing with cooler toned makeup or neutral makeup.  It's great for fair to medium skintones.

14.  Colourpop BFF Liquid Liner in Red:
I've wanted to get a Red Liquid Liner for a long time.  When Colourpop had a sale on their site, I decided to try one of them.  I like it!!!

15.  NYX Faux Blacks Eyeliner in Oxblood:

This is actually a repurchase.   I had this a couple of years ago and loved it.  I've not been into black eyeliner, lately, and Oxblood hits the spot for me.  Nyx's line of Faux Blacks are beautiful!  I may even consider some of their green colors.

16.  Physicians Formula Rosé Take The Day Away Cleanser:
This is an oil-free gel cleanser (non foaming).  It contains brightening ingredients like Vitamin C. I use this with my electric face brush when I want something more gentle on my skin.  Plus, I'm digging the smell of roses lately!

17.  The Body Shop Banana Truly Nourishing Shampoo:
Not only do I love the smell of The Body Shop's banana hair line.  I love how gentle and softening it is for my really long fine dry hair.  This shampoo is great during the week when I feel like I need a more gentle shampoo or if I work out a lot during the week. (I have to wash my hair after I work out because I perspire so much.)

18.  The Body Shop Banana Truly Nourishing Hair Mask:
OMG!!!  This stuff is heavenly!!!  I use this in the shower.  I'll shampoo my hair, put this stuff in and put a plastic shower cap over my head for the rest of my shower.  But, if you want an amazing conditioning experience. After you put a shower cap over you head -- take a bubble bath and lounge.  When you rinse your hair, it will feel amazing!!!

19.  One 'n' Only Argan Oil Revitalizing Hydrating Mask with Acacia Collagen:
I bought this about a month or so ago. I use this at least once a week, it's a heavier conditioner than my ApHogee Keratin conditioner and helps keep my hair more manageable. (Got this from Sally Beauty.)

20.  Herstyler Hair Repair Serum:
I got this over a year ago from Amazon based on reviews.  It took a lot of trial and error to figure out the best way for me to use it.  I now have waist long hair that is dry and frizzy, without product in it.  This works best for me when I put it in freshly washed and conditioned hair that's been lightly towel dried.  I've also discovered that it's best to use a little more than I think I need. When my hair dries naturally, it's soft, smooth and easy to run a brush through.  It's even easy to run a brush through, the next day. (I tend to wake up with tangled "cave woman" hair.). Love it!!!

21.  Remington DT7432 Wet or Dry Tame The Mane Electric Detangling Brush:
I think I heard about this about 6 months ago, when trying to search for some help for my hair which gets tangled SUPER easily.  It got really good reviews; and, I saw YouTuber grav3yardgirl review this.  I have to tell you, this really helps!  I will most often use this when I deal with "2nd day" hair or before I wash my hair.

Ta-Ta-For-Now!

My friend's cat, Goblin, enjoying a shopping bag.